You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
