my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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