I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
