But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
