i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
