Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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