okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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