Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
