As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It was confusing and full of hummus
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
