Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
