I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
