508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
