You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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