How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The beer is more important than you right now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
