...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
