didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Randomize
