Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
