last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
