beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
