So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
