i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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