perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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