sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
