Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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