Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
