Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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