When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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