Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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