I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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