Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
