Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
