Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i drank out of a bidet.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
