I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
