Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
