Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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