I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
