The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
