i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
