I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
