maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She just used a chaser for red wine.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
