i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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