Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
