why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
