Old men and throwing up are my life now.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize