the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
