even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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