that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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