Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
