Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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