'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
