I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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