I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I want you more than these girls want KFC
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
