susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
