I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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