why didn't you poke me back
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
