i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
