Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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