Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
