everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
