Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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