That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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