New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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