he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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